Nicole vs. Life
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I am naked and annoyed.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
