Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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