You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
