Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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