when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
