Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Im part way to drunk.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
