i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
