and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
