I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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