ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
