FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
