I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
