I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
