just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
