He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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