Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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