why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Randomize
