You're completely useless in the revolution.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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