I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize