Just mADE A PArabola og urine
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
