no, he came in my armpit
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
accomplished twins. life is a go
honey bunches of taint.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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