i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize