How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize