this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
