Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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