My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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