Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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