guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize