yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
