DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
