Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
