I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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