Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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