Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
