who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
