Your mouth is God's brothel.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
