i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
