Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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