I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
