I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
