Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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