So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
