I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
