just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
