one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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