Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
