I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
