the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
