god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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