Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
