So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
