He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
