everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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