No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
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