Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
