it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
