And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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