i just wanna soil my oats bro
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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