We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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