Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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