If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
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