Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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