hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
whose parrot is this?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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