Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
