Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
