Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
