video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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