how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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