dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
