I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
