Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's rum buckets o'clock
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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