The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
